How has everyone been the past few months? For me the stress surrounding my job being taken away, looking for a new job, and getting acquainted with my new job took a bit of a toll. That on top of managing everything else I was doing left me with not a lot of time for what I enjoyed and am passionate about. The good news is that the field is beginning to level out again; I’ve enjoyed the local activities picked up this year; and I’m able to focus on my own recovery again at a manageable level. That all said I once again plan to start picking back up the posts here on Voices for Awareness.
Morning everyone. I hope you all had a good past week and a happy Halloween if it’s celebrated where you are. Happy Holidays to everyone else around the world too; I know there are a few different ones being celebrated right now. Lets do a quick update, there have been some major accomplishments.
First off I have been on Paxil for roughly 18 days (not keeping exact count, but the last post was about 9 days ago). I think the medication is really helping this time around. Nothing is cured and certainly not everything has been impacted by the medication, but I feel there is a step in the positive direction.
The last post I made was in regards to a step backwards progress-wise and my upcoming doctor appointment to try and figure out what is going on with me. That appointment was last Friday and I would like to reflect back on it, the outcome, and where I think I am headed in the future from it.
The core issues that I spoke with the doctor about - Other than essential tasks to survive, such as; going to work or the grocery store for food, arriving at an airport, etc - I find it nearly impossible to leave my home and do something. I get very nauseous, have trouble breathing, and am brought down to my knees. Panic attacks and anxiety overcome me most of the time and it takes everything in my to put a stop to them. Another issue is relapse of self-injury, although not nearly as severe as it used to be. Based off of these issues the doctor diagnosed me with Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD).
Fall is among us, the leaves are beginning to fall, and the temperature is beginning to drop outside. September was usually a month I could turn off the A/C and open up the windows. Place some fans and was good to go. Nice and relaxing to come home and just relax in a cool environment. This is also the worst time of year for me typically. Thoughts of what happened 4 years ago revisit my mind, although it’s not as bad as a year after. Each year had seemed to get better, except this year I’ve noticed a little progress in the opposite direction.
I have not returned to when I was the worst, but I want to make sure that doesn’t happen. There are steps I have taken to try and make sure this doesn’t happen, one in particular, not stay quite as silent this time. I’ve initiated steps that are a little quicker than I would like them to be, but I think that’s also part of my mind speaking against me. At the same time I really see that it’s best to try and tackle this before it’s too late.
Greetings everyone. Just Saturday was TWLOHA (To Write Love On Her Arms) Awareness Day (link at bottom of post). If you didn’t get to do anything for it it’s not too late. Every day is awareness and support day. Before I get on to the main topic I have planned for this post I thought it would be worth mentioning I finally came out to some family about this blog. It is my hope that through the personal contacts I have I can answer the questions those closest to me have always had and spread awareness out through them as well. Those close to me have actually wanted to try and understand and be able to better support me, but until now I haven’t felt ready. Time will tell how well this works out, but I feel it’s an important step in recovery.
If I look back on the last 8 years of my life, more so the last 2 years, there is the theme of wanting to be myself. Who I am is caring, loving, and accepting of many different people and their cultures. I enjoy online games, music, and traveling to new places. Since I graduated college and began working I have lost the part meeting many new people and being able to travel when I want and to where I want. Most of all I’ve been trying to move on and focus on the future, completely forgetting about my past. Bad idea though.
Good morning everyone. Hopefully it hasn’t been as hectic for everyone as it has me the past couple weeks. I’ve traveled, met some new people in the online realm of gaming, watched TV, and picked up new music. Regardless I’m managing to get on top of everything and want to provide another post.
In my struggle to meet new people there is one key factor that gets in the way the most. That is maintaining the activities that I enjoy and finding similar people who accept those same activities. For example I enjoy playing video games, Massively Multiplay Online (MMO) games in particular these days. I used to play First Person games, but found I enjoyed the MMO scene quite a bit. There are a lot of people addicted to games to the point of playing 9 hours a day though and I get looked at like one of them anytime I mention to someone new that I enjoy MMOs. In another case there are members of my family who smoke. I have seen first hand through them how destructive smoking is, wouldn’t start myself, and wish they could stop. However my experiences with self injury and depression have opened my mind up to the world of addiction, the destruction addiction causes, and how difficult it is to get out. I may not self injure like I used to, but the thoughts and cravings are still there.
Before I get involved with the upcoming busy week I thought it would be helpful to share an inspirational and helpful person I pay attention to on a weekly basis if not a few times a week. I would like to try and highlight different people on occasion to provide everyone with more tools to get through what they are dealing with. Whether it be passively watching a vlog, listening or calling into a radio station, talking to someone online, getting in touch with family or friends, there is help out there for you.
Sunday nights at 10pm EST (9pm CST, 7pm PST, 3am GMT) I listen to a radio show for many different types of support. If you need help or someone to talk to Dawson McAllister will take your calls on Sunday nights (United States). Available support doesn’t stop there though, a hopeline is available all week with hope coaches. You can e-mail, chat online, or call in. What I like about Dawson is that he approaches people’s topics head on and is direct about what needs to happen. The radio show is more of a self intervention, after talking to Dawson callers get sent to the hopeline. If you need help and don’t feel like you can talk to family or friends Dawson and the hopeline could be an excellent alternative. Not only will they talk to you, but they will make and effort to help you get the help you may need. I have not called in, but have been a listener and find it both really inspirational and helpful.
I’m not sure if there are restrictions listening online out of the United States or not since I have no way to test, but give it a try. There is a lot of information on his blogs and still online support available.
A subject that hits home very much and I think is important to cover: Bullying. This can take many shapes and forms and be encountered anywhere. I experienced it in grade school, it has happened to me in the work place, and the place I expected it least till the last 4 years, online, the world wide web. The following post will go through what I deal with today and work back to roughly 1995, the early school days. Lets begin.
Hope everyone is well on this hot summer day, or cold winter day, depending where in the world you are.
Over the years I have lived in places with very low grades when it comes to the mental health system in the United States. I have to say the grades are pretty much dead on too, the experiences I’ve had are awful. The U.S. in general greatly suffers when it comes to good mental health support and treatment. I truly believe a lot of this has to do with the stigma out there and lack of understanding. Mental illness though really is the same as any physical illness, just a different problem, so let me tell my experience and help the world learn.
I’ve seen a couple videos from regular vlogs I keep up on weekly in regards to mental health, this time on college living. One from The Emmy R and the other From Miss Lizenka. I’ll link them before moving on with my own experiences so you can get their perspectives as well. They both have good information. I would like to add to their input based on reflection having graduated a couple years ago.
The Questions Are: 1)did you ever consider any other living options? 2)in relation to mental health how had living on campus effected you? 3)if you could change your living situation for collage would you? why?
I am a male of age 25 that has struggled with mental illness and self-harm. I am here to share my story and contribute to awareness about mental health, anxiety, depression, and self-harm.
Six years ago I was diagnosed with major depression and since then have made excellent progress towards recovery.
I hope to help others and inform the world about the truth.
This tumblr will import posts from my blogspot blog and also allow readers to post questions that I'll make an effort to answer. Questions are open to anonymous submissions at the moment. If you would like me to answer and approve your submission for public display please refrain from any triggering or disrespectful content.